Halfway rockstars don't exist

This is a post I first wrote for Phoenix, my author coaching clients. I try to use my own STUFF as encouragement for my authors. Mostly because whatever I struggle with, you struggle with. Whatever wears on me probably wears on you. People are essentially the same. I decided to also post it here because it's been a while since I've been honest in a raw kind of way about my personal life with my readers. And these last four weeks or so have felt really raw. (no lie, I blame that last moon cycle. That one was a bitch!) But it's a new cycle now and I'm feeling much more like my TRUE SELF. I've got a good handle on my personal truth and I want to share it with everyone else who maybe struggles with keeping hold of their truth instead of taking on someone else's. (Living an OutRAGEous Life isn't as easy as you think!)

When I'm faced with a new choice, I spend only a few seconds deciding whether I want it or not. If not, I walk away. If so, I go for it.

But then I have a bad habit of spending the next LONG WHILE second-guessing that decision or feeling guilty for taking the opportunity OR unhappy as I contemplate all the judgment others must be passing on me behind my back because they would never do something so crazystupidinsaneunreasonable or just basically outside the box.

If you're like me, this sort of thing happens when you try to do something outside the "YOU" that fits into everyone's definition of what you "SHOULD DO."

Like, for example, Guam.

In July, I head back there--without the kiddos. Some people think that me leaving my kids makes me a less-than-great (Or unstable, in some conversations) mother. Or a slew of other judgy things that have been pulling me down in all areas. I mean, I've been though enough of a personal journey that I can't NOT follow my dreams (of travel and true love and anything that makes me this HAPPY) but I've been walking around feeling YUCK about it. Like that will make all of the naysayers feel better or come around. "Oh, well, she feels guilty for it, so, we forgive her."

Uh, no.

Doesn't work that way.

My point is, if you've ever felt this too. Maybe with wanting to write but everyone telling you it wasn't a "real job," over committing even though you didn't WANT to do something for someone but you felt obligated (aka GUILT), being afraid to write the kind of story you WANT to write because "what will people think?"

Building an entire life out of what you're "SUPPOSED TO" do or be or act like, instead of anything that gets you so happy and lit up that it makes you OutRAGEous.

I see you all writing books and publishing and living out that part of your happiness. But what about the choices you've made for others? The secret stuff, the paranormal erotica, the wanting to move to Bali, the stuff no one knows OR the stuff you've chosen but then walk around feeling bad about???? And then you wonder why this choice isn't working out now! Well of course it won't, not when you feel so awful about it!

It's not easy letting go of the yucky feelings that come with being a rebel. But it's totally worth it. The fact is, no one ever became famous or achieved their dreams or left a lasting mark or FULFILLED THEIR DESTINY or lived a happily ever after by "half-assing" their choices.

I saw this on Facebook yesterday:

When you die, your life is summed up by two dates and a dash. Make the MOST of the dash.

What are you making of your dash?

~Heather

If you like what you read here and want to join my Phoenix email list to get more of the same, you can click here to join Phoenix's mailing list. It's geared toward authors but my message: How to create your own OutRAGEous Life applies to everyone!

Phoenix: Author Ink --$200 PRIZE!

The big day is here!!! *throws confetti* *dances in a dizzying circle*

Phoenix: Author Ink, my author consulting business, launches today!!! To mark its launch and its purpose, I am also releasing The Indie Author Guide: A Self-Publisher’s Toolbox. It’s a how-to-when-to guide that delivers MORE THAN the necessary information each aspiring author should know as they build their own publishing business and release their first book along with a specific timeline for when you should be implementing all of these tools.

I am so excited to “give back” with all of the awesome things I’ve learned throughout my journey as a self-published author. I can’t wait to share it all with you! 

Get it on Amazon 

The Indie Author Guide: A Self-Publisher’s Toolbox

Whether you’re an aspiring author or have been published for a year, this guide is full of information, links, and support sites that can help increase sales and streamline your business as a self-published author. This guide is not like other self-help books on publishing. It includes very specific how-to instructions along with a timeline so you also know when to implement each item. If you’re looking for vague instructions or easy banter, this guide is NOT for you. If you need a little sarcastic humor and someone in your ear telling you to get off your butt and make your dream happen, this IS the guide for you!

What’s inside:

–An extensive list of links to editors, cover artists, formatters, and bloggers is included. 

–Marketing, blog tours, release day blitzes

–Formatting, cover art and artists for hire, editors, what to ask when hiring out

–Garnering reviews, how and where to meet bloggers

–Where to find review groups, beta readers, critique partners

–Branding, blogging, and social media

–Time management, daily goals, sales strategies, what works, what doesn’t.

All of this and more is included in this hold-your-hand-style guide.

Heather Hildenbrand is the YA and NA author of more than eight novels including the bestselling Dirty Blood series. She is a co-founder of Accendo Press, a collaborative publishing effort dedicated to publishing stories that ignite the imagination, a fiction author, and the owner of Phoenix, an author consultant and coaching company that provides support and information for new and experienced self-published authors as they navigate the waters of self-publishing and marketing.

For more information on Phoenix and what I offer, visit www.phoenixauthorink.com

What people are saying:

"The Indie Guide is a must read for new writers, or writers that are still just bumping their heads in frustration with the business! Hildenbrand knows what you need and gives it to you, both barrels!" –Misty Provencher, Author of the Cornerstone Series 

“Breaking into the writing industry can be a scary process, but Heather's Indie Guide provides you with a plethora of knowledge to make the leap a little less intimidating. With step by step instructions and suggestions on where to go no matter where you are on your journey, the Indie Guide can be your road map to creating an amazing opportunity for yourself.” –Megan Curd, Author of Steel Lily

And as a thank-you-slash-I-am-so-excited-to-be-here gift, I am offering one lucky winner the chance to work one-on-one with me for ONE MONTH of encouraging, butt-kicking, accountability-induced inspiration and HELP as you get ready to publish or boost your marketing platform HUGELY. You will get phone consultations and in-depth planning sessions and at the end of the 30 days, you will feel so much better, more focused, and excited about your business!

There are also two awesome prize packs with signed books up for grabs, because, yeah, BOOKS. It’s why we’re here. I hope you’ll spread the word about Phoenix as well as The Indie Author Guide and get yo’self entered to win! Good Luck!

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